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What people think coaching is
Coaching is a relatively new field and as such, many people aren’t really sure what coaching is or how coaching can help us.
Often people think that coaching is like therapy, or that it is like having a cheerleader, someone to believe in you and tell you that you can do it.
When we tell someone that we are about to start working with a coach, the first question we are often asked is, “Why? What sport are you starting?” *Faceplant*
It’s understandable why people are confused about coaching. This article is all about what coaching is, and what it isn’t, the point of coaching, and what to look for in a good coach.
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What coaching is NOT
Let’s start by debunking the myths about what coaching is.
Coaching is not:
- Having a private cheerleader who only tells you you’re amazing
- A solution to all of your problems
- A way you can make your life better without doing any work
- Like therapy
- Criticism
- Listening to what you want to hear
- A quick fix
- A one size fits all approach
- Financial advising
How coaching can help you
Instead, coaching is about working together to help you build the kind of life you want based on a dream you have.
Often, people wonder about why they should get a coach at all, why can’t they do it by themselves. And that’s a great question! The thing is, that if it were about the information, you would already be living the life you want.
It’s not a question of more information
All the information is out there. At the end of our fingertips, through Google, we can get all the information we could ever possibly want.
And yet, if you’re not living the kind of life you dream of, it’s not an information problem.
Instead, it’s a combination of information and beliefs. We can decide to spend the next 5 years of our lives learning, Googling and reading books. We can then take another 5 years trying to work through our limiting beliefs on our own.
After 10 years, if we’ve done it correctly, we might be able to move towards creating the dream life we want.
A coach is a way to get that shortcut – it’s a way to fast track your dream to start creating it right now. Coaching have done the work. They have the information and they are able to tailor it to you.
More than this, they are able to hear what you are saying and know what is behind it. We are able to hear the limiting belief that stands behind a concern or worry, and then blast through it, debunking it, and then together creating a new belief that works.
The point of all of this is that you then do the work, put in the time, do the worksheets and exercises, and begin creating the kind of life you want and dream of right now. Instead of starting to live this life 10 years later if you were to do it alone.
Coaching can help you get to where you want to go faster. It’s a shortcut to get you to where you want to go.
How coaching helps us achieve
Coaching is interesting in the way it is able to help you get to living your dream.
It is different from therapy in that it does not look into your past and work there. Coaching works in the present, in order to create the future you want.
There are different coaches and different coaching methods.
My own personal method is a combination of being straightforward, encouraging, and looking past the words to get at the root of the problem.
Usually at the beginning of coaching, exercises are done, to see where you want to go. Goals are set and we create a direction that we want to go towards.
We create a plan and begin working on it. Along the way, fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs come up. “I’m not good enough. I keep on sabotaging myself. I start working and then it seems like there is so much other stuff to do. I’m worried what people will say about my dream.”
We work through all of these so that you are able to continue pursuing your dream and living the life you deserve.
Finding a great coach – what to look for in a coach
When choosing a coach, there are a few key things to look out for.
- Do you like the person? It’s important to like your coach. If you don’t like them or think they are a good person, there’s going to be resistance and you’re not going to get the results you want or deserve.
- You trust them. You believe what they are saying and believe they can get you the results you want.
- They have experience doing this and are able to show you other clients they have had success with.
- Good communication. You should be able to understand what your coach is saying. More than this, check what their policy is for getting in touch with them. Can you email them? Message them on Facebook?
- Ask how they are prioritizing their own personal development. If the coach is asking you to work on yourself, check whether they are living by the same principles they are asking you to live by. It’s a fact that coaches that don’t value their own continuous growth have a lower ceiling than coaches that are constantly working to improve themselves.
- Are they skilled in deep listening? You don’t want a coach that keeps interrupting you.
- You feel like they understand you. Check whether you feel like the coach understands and knows where you are coming from. They understand how you are feeling and how you are struggling.
- Are you excited and inspired by your discussion with the coach? And also a little bit scared? This is a key thing because it means that you’re inspired to grow, ready to commit to the process, and the scared part is important because it means you will stretch and grow through the coaching process.
What I look for when vetting a potential client
Did you know that when you’re talking to a coach about starting to work with them, that they’re evaluating you just as much as you are evaluating them?
It’s also important for the coach to work with people that are a good fit. I’ve definitely declined to work with some people because I felt that they were not a good fit.
It’s better that way for both of us. They’re not frustrated by not getting the results they want. And as my time is limited, I don’t spend time working with a client I can’t help. I instead spend my time with a client I can really help.
All coaching have different things that they are looking for.
What I’m looking for in a client
The key things I’m looking for when I’m vetting a potential client are:
- Willingness to grow. Growing is scary and there can be some resistance. I can tell the difference between someone who wants to grow and will put in the work, despite being scared, and someone who is not yet ready to grow for whatever reason.
- Positivity and hope. Positivity can be at an all-time low when clients first come to me. However, it’s possible while talking with someone to see whether they have passion, whether they are positive, but are having a hard time right now.
- They’re a good person.
- I trust them.
- I know I can actually help them.
Coaching can really help because it is a great way to fast-track jumping forward to where you want to be in your life.
With so many coaches out there it is so important to do a consultation call before hiring anyone. Talking to a potential coach is a great way to get to know them, to see if they can help you, and to see whether you feel that perfect mix of excitement, inspiration, and a little scared!
