I used to come home exhausted from a job that was perfectly fine.
By all standards, I was doing well. I had done everything I was supposed to do – I had gotten good marks to get into a good school, graduated, gotten a good job, somewhat settled down. It felt I had received a life checkmark, like, “Yup you’ve done what you were supposed to do and now you’re done. You can just go into cruise control now.”
And the job was quite good. It had benefits and it was close to home so the commute was only 20 minutes. I could walk if I wanted to. The people I worked with were incredible and smart.
And yet every night when I came home, I would only have the energy to tune out with Netflix.
I would go to bed completely exhausted still, wondering how the day flew by and how little of my own life I lived that day. And that’s how the weeks turned into months.
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I knew it wasn’t for me, but I tried to ignore it
I knew the job wasn’t quite for me. It wasn’t challenging or particularly exciting. I didn’t feel like I was living my life. And the excitement that I used to have for the future and for life just wasn’t there.
I tried covering it up with the free candy they gave us at work. So after 11 months, I had gained over 25 pounds. Even those 25 pounds weren’t enough to cushion me from the feeling of dissatisfaction.
Related articles:
- The Bold Way Burnout is Destroying Your Self-Confidence
- The Courageous Way You Can Prevent Burnout
- The Eye-Opening Reason Straight-A Students Don’t Pursue Their Ultimate Dream
My dream
And I had an idea for something that I wanted to do. I wanted to work on my blog. I wanted to spend all day talking about and with other women on how to overcome fear so they feel empowered to live the life they want, not the one they settle for.
But I had all these doubts:
What makes me think I can do this?
I have a science background, what do I know about starting a business?
I don’t know enough about marketing, making a website, and social media.
What can I possibly have to offer?
What if it doesn’t work?
Won’t people think this is stupid and think that I failed in life so that is why I am now doing this?
Honestly, the, “What will people think?” was one of my biggest fears and the biggest one holding me back.
It was really scary. It was actually terrifying. Not just from the social aspect of, what will people think, but also from a financial standpoint. While I wasn’t making huge money at my job, it was a steady paycheck. It was reliable, and it was what I thought a responsible adult would do. And as anyone who knows me will say, I tend to live by “responsible.”
It takes courage to pursue your dream
Finding the courage to say, “No more,” to that job, and to my medical career was one of the bravest things I’ve done.
I always thought that being brave meant pushing more. Pushing yourself to do things that don’t seem quite right, but will get you to where you want to be – or at least where you think you want to be. Pushing yourself to be better, to work harder, to push through pain and insecurity.
I don’t think that’s what brave means anymore.
When I said “No more,” to the kind of life I had been building for years, I think that’s the first time I was truly brave, because it was the first time I decided to differentiate between what I had learnt was the definition of “success” and what I thought success and happiness meant for me.
For me, success wasn’t a corporate job or even a medical career. For me success was deciding to branch out on my own, spend my days reading about self-development, writing about it, and empowering other women to take charge of their lives and do what they actually want to do in life. Not what they think they should be doing.
Brave does not always mean charging towards the fire pit. Sometimes brave means saying, “No, I don’t want to charge towards the fire pit, even though that may lead to a certain success. I want to do something else, and I’m stepping away.”
Making this decision takes courage, but it’s also a decision that is so worth it. And it’s courage that we all have.
Does this sound like you?
You were sitting at work, a little bored, cruising the internet when you came across this article. You’re at a seemingly good job. By all standards, the people around you think you are successful. You’ve done everything right until this point. You’ve gotten good grades, gotten into a good university, worked hard to get a good job with the possibility of growth. It seems like you’re set.
But maybe you have an idea for something else that you want to do – something that you’re excited and passionate about starting.
Maybe you’re spending your time reading blogs on baking online and you realize you would love to open up your own bakery. Or you’re a huge movie buff and realize you want to try your own hand at being a screenwriter.
Do these doubts sound familiar?
Even though all of these things make you super excited and energized, you’re scared to start. So many doubts and fears run through your head:
Who am I to be doing this?
So many people are already doing this, what can I possibly offer?
What if it doesn’t work?
I don’t know if I have what it takes to succeed.
This is so different from what I’m doing now, everyone is going to think it’s weird.
Isn’t it irresponsible to leave my stable and successful job to go chasing after a dream?
These thoughts are so common! I recently did a poll in a women entrepreneurs group that I’m a part of, listing these fears and then which ones each woman experienced when she was starting her journey. So many women responded listing multiple of these fears as being a huge reason why they almost didn’t start their new business or side hustle.
It’s scary starting your own business. You’re scared whether it will work, you’re worried about the judgement you might face, you’re worried financially will you be able to manage, and you’re worried whether you’re even capable of making it a success.
It may seem hard to find the courage to pursue your dream.
But finding courage gives you the push to make that first step towards creating your new passion. It doesn’t mean that the fear goes away.
Courage means that you do it anyway.
My journey to find the courage to pursue my dream
We can find the courage to pursue our dream in many ways.
Helpful podcasts
For me, I spent a lot of time listening to podcasts, like:
- The Tim Ferris Show
- Unlocking Us (Brené Brown’s podcast)
- Don’t Keep Your Day Job (Cathy Heller’s podcast)
- Do It Scared (Ruth Soukup’s podcast)
Helpful books
And reading endless books. Key ones that really helped were:
- 5 AM Club – Robin Sharma
- Don’t Keep Your Day Job – Cathy Heller
- Untamed – Glennon Doyle
- Do It Scared – Ruth Soukup
- Rejection Proof – Jia Jiang
- Super Attractor – Gabrielle Bernstein
Find the courage to pursue your dream with the help of a COACH
A great way to find the courage to pursue your dream is by working with a coach. I think if I were to go back, I would have invested early on in a coach. Getting help from a coach can really push you forward.
Working with a coach builds accountability. A coach also understands the path that you’re on – often because they were on a similar path before. They help and guide you, proving support and encouragement along the way. And they give you key skills that will allow you to pick yourself up when you stumble (which you will do), to keep pushing even when it seems hopeless (which it will at moments).
I think the key part of being a coach is making sure that you succeed in the goal that is important for you. For me, that goal is helping you create the kind of life you want, not the life you settle for.
Making the decision to follow your passion and pursue the life you want takes courage, but it’s courage that you have. You just need to know how to use it.
For a free half-hour consultation with me, schedule a ZOOM call. In it, you can tell me your dream idea and the fears holding you back. Then I’ll tell you 3 things you can do right now to put you on the path of realizing your dream. Let’s get to it!
